I take care of my kids!

Some people have accused me of neglecting my kids, so I just want to set the record straight. I take care of my kids! And I don't spoil them! Each morning they leave the house for summer school with a clean pair of sweatpants, last night's pajama top, velcro shoes, and a tablespoon full of peanut butter in their mouths. That's a hell of a lot more than I got as a kid!

You got to give your kids what they need, but you can't always give them what they want. Last year, when it was time for new shoes for school, I told the kids to get ready to go to the Payless Shoes. My oldest had the nerve to say, "Momma, I'm not gonna wear no Payless sneakers!". I said, "You're gonna be a little shoeless motherfucka then!". Soon enough I had her in a new pair of Pink Payless velcro sneakers. I would get them the lace ones, but I don't have time to teach them all that foolishness.

Just last month I got a call from the school. My middle child had gotten in trouble for bringing one of my Tampons to show & tell. The teacher tried to prepare me for this revelation, as though I'd be shocked. Well who do you think gave it to him? I even gave him the little instruction pamphlet they come with. So what was the problem? She told me something about it being too early for that kind of sex education. Well what do periods have to do with sex?

Now for my youngest, she's only three. She don't do nothing but sit on the couch and drink sodas. She started that habit when she was teething, because she wanted to get the taste of frozen fish stick out of her mouth. Now she's up to a 3-liter a day! She also gets all the television that a child needs. She falls asleep every night with that damn Court TV blastin' in the background.

I even got those ungrateful kids a pet dog! They were so happy that Christmas, and he didn't cost me anything! He was cute too! Unfortunately we couldn't leave him alone for more than five hours without him shitting in the townhouse. So while they were visting their Grandma on Valentine's day, I was driving an hour to dump this dog out in the middle of the country. I really hope he found a nice home. I could tell that the kids were mad about it, so I put this picture in a frame on the wall for them to remember him by. That's what being a parent is all about.