I came home last night around 11:30pm, drunk as a skunk, to discover that my damn kids were still up and running around the house. They said they hadn't had any dinner, and they'd gotten into my case of Red Bulls from Costco and made a big mess of it. The babysitter wasn't even there. He'd left a note about needing to bail his girlfriend out of jail.
My comfy bed was calling to me, but I knew my kids needed some food in their stomachs or they'd never get to sleep and they'd be impossible to wake up in the morning. I also had a pretty good case of the beer munchies. The only thing open was the Wendy's drive-thru, so I drove us over real quick and pulled up to the speaker. The lady came on and I ordered myself a combo.
Of course my kids were so hopped up on caffeine that they couldn't think straight and didn't know what they wanted. I heard one of them say, "Happy Meal!" and I said, "No baby, this is Wendy's, they got a kids meal...". A truck pulled up behind us in the line. I don't think he had his high-beams on, but his headlights were still shooting right through the back window of our car, which I can't stand.
I continued to try to get an order out of my kids. "Jailen, you want some apple slices? How 'bout some chicken nuggets baby? Do y'all think Orenthal would like a Jr Bacon?" (I'd left the baby at home 'cause his car seat is a pain in the ass). I looked back and three more cars were lined up. I decided to just order whatever, and of course the kids started to bitch and cry but by that point I didn't care.
I drove up to the window to pay, and unfortunately I'd forgotten to bring the purse that I keep Phil's credit cards in. All I had was my back-up card which has a bad strip, so the lady had to run it several times before manually typing it in. Then she handed me our dranks and a bag.
She said, "I'm still working on getting your Double with pickles and three Frosties, so please pull ahead to the door up on your left and we'll get those right out to you." I said "Naw.". For a minute she just stared at me while I sat there. "Ma'am, please pull ahead so we can keep the line moving". I replied, "No, that's okay, just do your best".
The cashier sighed and slammed the window shut. She came back three minutes later and handed us our stuff. Then she shut the door again and stared at me while I inventoried our bags to make sure we got everything. Well I'm sorry, but I've been burned before by these late-night losers.
Just then the guy from the truck behind us got out and came up to the window between my car and the drive-thru window. He banged on the window and yelled something at the cashier. I wasn't sure how to let this guy know how rude that was so I decided to just drive off while he had his ass pressed up against my car. I heard him swear as I took off, and me and the kids had a good laugh.
I pulled around and parked behind a large van near the entrance where I could watch the guy leave without him seeing me. The kids were whining for their food but I told them to wait because nobody's allowed to eat in my car but me! The guy pulled around and we followed him all the way down to the highway ramp. That's when I speed-dialed the police and reported him as a drunk driver. It took us another ten minutes to drive home from there, and by then the kids were fast asleep in the back seat. Screw it, more nuggets for me!