Tuesday, October 19

Starve the artists!

Back in olden times, Richmond's downtown Broad Street was bustling with cars, trolleys, and folks who wore hats and nice wool suits all day (even though it was hot as hell out and air conditioning didn't even exist yet!). Then, in a trend that swept across America, downtown went to shit after everyone fled to live in the suburbs and shop in the malls.

After many years of failed government-led downtown revitalization efforts, this area of Broad Street was blessed with a highly successful, grassroots movement that turned cheap unused storefronts into small art galleries. The success of Richmond's First Fridays art walk led to the opening of many neat local restaurants and stores. Once again, art and culture proved to be the simple, low cost way for a city to revitalize its downtown.

The Richmond city government has taken a lot of criticism for their lack of support, and for wasting gobs of money on a few big stupid revitalization projects that have amounted to jack shit. Well I happen to think that the city was wise in withholding their monetary support! You might even say that the Richmond city government deserves most of the credit for this downtown renaissance!

The fact is, artists and creative types do their best work when they're broke! The days of benefactors and life-like stone sculptures are over! Today's art is a crude, outsider affair, curated by desperate, hungry galleries.

By withholding support from the art movement in downtown Richmond, our government has helped create a culture of bored and mostly sober creative young people who have nothing better to do with their energy and idealism than work tirelessly and selflessly to restore our downtown for us! Believe me, as soon as you give these artsy non-profits a little walking around money it's "Goodbye, revitalization." and "Hello, heroin addiction!".

Keeping these art galleries and their related organizations perpetually on the brink also helps prepare for the next stage of revitalization, when all the poor art galleries will get priced out by condos and chain restaurants. Where art galleries and new local restaurants now stand, filling the streets with art walkers and foodies, we will soon see high-end strip clubs, tourist T-shirt shops, and other fun destinations!

So it's really no wonder why the city isn't rushing to give this area the special "art district" zoning that they desire. This period of local art culture is merely the pupa stage of the true revitalization. The eventual future of downtown Broad Street is so bright with 2-story Burger Kings and Books-A-Million Megastores that your average hipster artists will need a darker pair of sunglasses to wear at night!

So what becomes of them? Why they'll simply go elsewhere, hopefully to move in and revitalize another horrible area, such as Manchester, or the insufferable East End. And when they're done getting things moving there they can be replaced, once again, by warehouse condos and urban malls, filled with well paid young professionals, who'll continue to move here in droves to live in a city with a thriving arts community!



Big Lots Marketing said...

Brilliant! Seriously fuck the artists

Anonymous said...

you said pupa ...hehe!

Anonymous said...

Amen to that sister!
Have you seen the the godless trash these degenerates call art? Unclothed women and depictions of our lord and savior defiled with excrement. Satanic images obviously fueled by drug addled minds. And I'll be damned if I'm going to let my wife walk around with a purse woven from the devils weed.

I would pray for these lost souls but for most I'm afraid it is too late

Rev. Michael Hunt
1st Baptist Church of the Blue Ridges of Balsac Kentucky

Anonymous said...

Fuck you bitch, you probably dont even live in city limits. My apt in Manchester was the best place Ive lived in this city

Richmond Rambler said...

Sarah Palin couldn't have said it better herself. You rock, Joc!

Anonymous said...

Good to have you back! And bearing the same sterling advice for the city that you live by and hold as your family values! Bravo!

Anonymous said...

Great to see a new post.
I have to agree Joss - there's nothing even remotely bohemian about shiny new condos, Starbucks and Sharper Image stores. Artists need to suffer for their art - we're only helping them out by condemning them to abandoned warehouses, thrift stores and tuberculosis!

Anonymous said...

Probably one of the stupidest things i have read. Your take on the Richmond art and downtown scene is way off, you obviously are not involved. You description of artists is insulting and foolish. Instead of using these people why don't you reward them for their work, like giving them the zoning they want. Your idea of "true revitalization" is a snapshot of hell, and it sounds like you dig it. You are coming across as a conservative, square, old person who loves the man and eats at chain restaurants. In the world of artists and hipsters, you suck.

Anonymous said...

What would a dumb bitch like you know about art?

Another mom blogger said...

Oh I missed you Jocelyn, teh internets, motherhood and concerned citizens' brains are not the same without you.

Amen to your post and double amen to Rev. Michael Hunt's comment.

PS: Fucking hipsters! Take your gay glassless rims and skinny jeans somewhere else.

Harleyrydr said...

Damn you.You suck me in,I'm reading the blog,I'm liking it,I'm laughing at it and I'm agreeing with your plan and then "BOOM" you slam the East End.Bitch! love ya, your old pal

Anonymous said...

insufferable East End...Fuck You...you stupid bitch! Crawl back into your hole.

Anonymous said...

Dominic Greco must be her love slave

Anonymous said...

I come here for the comments :)

Dog Breath said...

I would pay handsomly for a tastefull nude portrait so I can jerk off in the dining room for a change.

I love you Joss!

Anonymous said...

When you getting your blood dripping cunt licked again?

David said...

Keeping these art galleries and their related organizations perpetually on the brink also helps prepare for the next stage of revitalization, when all the poor art galleries will get priced out by condos and chain restaurants.

You mean condos like these?


"Two developers are about to start rehabilitating a pair of blighted retail buildings on East Grace and East Broad Streets with some financing from the City of Richmond.

Developers Ron Hunt of Hunt Investments and Mike Glass of the Becca Group have partnered to make over 213 E. Broad and 214 E. Grace into 24 apartments and 3,000 square feet of commercial space geared toward area artists."

Anonymous said...

hey ugly toothless bitch. Eat a dick. Oh and your kids are little whores who like there ass fucked by all your husbands. I hope you get into a car accident and your kids are left starving on the side of the road.