Wednesday, October 21

I ain't got all day!

Earlier this week I went to the cupboard for some Beef-a-roni, but apparently the kids had already eaten the last can. I really had my heart set on it! I was so angry that I yelled "motherfucker!", stomped out of the kitchen, and kicked the living room phone jack right off the wall. It's one of those things we all do impulsively, and regret immediately. Now my foot was hurt, and I needed this damn phone jack fixed!

I grabbed my cell phone and called the phone company. After going through a shit ton of really annoying robotic menus I was finally put in the queue to wait for a representative. I was still kind of mad about the whole thing to be honest. I decided it would be best to lie and say that the phone just went dead. She told me that I had the "protection plan" on my account, so the work would probably be covered.

The technician's visit was scheduled for the next day with an 8am to 12pm window. That meant I had to take off work that morning, but still, a 4-hour window isn't too bad. Since I had the morning off I decided to hit up the Bob Evans for some biscuits and corned beef hash. I returned home around 9:15 and found a note on the door. It stated that I had missed their tech at 8:15 a.m., which means he probably got there right at 8. Ridiculous!

That's when Phil came home because he'd forgotten to take his lunch that morning. He was needed at the job site, but I told him that first he needed to call the phone company and tell them that their tech left and that I had been waiting since 7am. While talking to the representative, he didn't sound all that convincing. So I yelled, "Tell them that I saw the truck driving off!". This went on for a few more minutes until I got fed up and took the phone from him.

I bitched at the rep for a few minutes, and I claimed that the tech never knocked. The rep said, "Maybe you didn't hear him, or maybe he didn't see the doorbell.". I yelled, "I don't have a doorbell, smart ass!". Then the rep put me on hold. He came back a few minutes later to tell me that he had spoken with the supervisor and that my technician would add me on as his last job of the day.

Now I had an afternoon to kill, so I drove to O'Charley's and drank a bunch of beers. I got home by around 4:45pm, and the tech was just pulling up. I said, "It's about time!". He said, "For your information I was here at 8:15 this morning for your appointment. Now I'll be stuck here when I should be driving my son to his basketball game." I told him that I don't care about all that and brought him inside.

He inspected the damage and advised me that there would be a charge to fix it, because accidental damage wasn't covered under the plan. I got all up in his face, poking him in his chest and yelling about how I refused to pay and how ridiculous this whole thing was. He quietly walked out, got in his van, and began to drive off. I ran out after him, and threw the broken phone jack at the back of his van. It missed and landed in the street. This whole experience just goes to show that good customer service is dead!

67 comments:

FutureShock said...

Good girl! Don't take any shit from them phone company fucks. Do you know how much those guys get paid for just driving around giving people crap all day? Trust me you don't want to know. If I was you I would get a lawyer and sue their asses.

Did you ever get your Beef-a-roni fix?

Anonymous said...

You are one screwed up women!
GET HELP!

Anonymous said...

you're an a-hole

Anonymous said...

you are a worthless liar. Feel free to never expect customer service again.

Anonymous said...

Learn some respect for other people, bitch!

Anonymous said...

there is really something wrong with you

Ryan the phone service technician said...

OK, so let me get this straight. You made an appointment with the phone company, they kept your appointment but you decided to not be there. So you called up and lied about not being there when he was. The tech probably got chastised for it, even though he did EVERYTHING right, except have a grumpy customer. So when he did show AGAIN and you decided to rail into him, he had the audacity to hold you to the letter of the contract that YOU signed with the phone company. Speaking from experience, I can sympathize with trying to call into the big bad phone company, however even if you were HALF way nice to the tech, he probably would have covered it under your inside maintenance plan. I know I would have, since that's what I do. Expect for the customers that decide before I even get there than I'm an asshole.

Anonymous said...

why did you have to reproduce?

Anonymous said...

You should have been truthful from the beginning. Everyone can sympathize with running out of that delicious mixture of hooves, snouts, assholes and macaroni swimming in an erotic blend of diarrhea and tomato juice and would surely overlook your anger at not getting what your want. Settling for corned beef hash and biscuits is sorry compensation for your disappointment. Fuck those phone company dicks. They probably never had to go without.

Anonymous said...

step 1. get a pair of rubber gloves
step 2. get some lube
step 3. put the gloves on and then rub the lube around your neck
step 4. pull your head out of your ass

Robert said...

I think you owe them an apology. This is just ridiculous. You shoud calmly call them and say,"I'm sorry.....for choosing such a shit poor company that refuses to believe its customers. And I'm also sorry that you believe your crank smoking "technician" instead of a fine upstanding citizen like myself".

Mike said...

In plain english..."You're a CUNT"!!

Anonymous said...

......and did you pick up the mess you made in the street?

p.s. I'm only anonymous because i don't feel like "starting" an account. But my name is Joshua, and my email is "Aggro_fart@msn.com"

Irfan Khan said...

Oh MY GAWD!!!

Woman, You are AWESOME :D How do you come up with this stuff??

I got totally hooked on your writing after reading the "Keeping Marijuana Illegal" post.

I am in love with you. Marry me!!! Have my kids!!!

Irfan Khan said...

To the other commentators:

If you think this was harsh, read her post about divorcing her husband :D Classic material.



You madam, are my role model.

Anonymous said...

Good for you Joss.
What is wrong with all these people - haven't they ever heard the saying 'the customer is always right'. After all, that's what we pay for.
How dare that lazy, good for nothing phone company guy think his time was more important than yours.
What you need to do is find out where the phone company fat cat execs live and leave a note on their door telling them you called by to pay your bill but they weren't home so they don't get any money from you this month!

Anonymous said...

Did you ever find out who ate your beef-a-roni?

Anonymous said...

You should sue the shit out of them. Sue for your hurt foot, time spent away from your family and work, and because the phone tech ate your beefaionroni

Burt said...

Next time, I hope you choke on your Beef-a-roni

Dale Brumfield said...

Beefaroni is the boss

Anonymous said...

First things first, you should've beaten your child or children for eating your beef-a-roni. Who the fuck do they think they are, eating your food? They should've just found yesterday's newspaper and eaten that. If you beat your children first, you would've gotten all that frustration out before you picked on your poor, innocent phone jack. And who the hell do all these phone company employees think they are? You were absolutely right for leaving to get something to eat when you were "supposed" to be home waiting for the "repair man." He obviously wasn't using his psychic powers to know that you were out getting a healthy and fufilling breakfast. And when he left after he came back, you should've called the phone company to tell them that you kicked him out of your house because he was trying to sell you cocaine and marijuana. I totally agree with what you did. Good job!!

Anonymous said...

Fuck you bitch. go kill yourself

KEV said...

I hate to shatter you're world here, but you are completely in the wrong. I can't believe that you blame someone doing their job correctly and showing up on time because you were too busy filling your hole with Bob Evans because Beef-a-roni didn't satisfy your need for barely passable slush known to you as "food, duurrrr".

I can see your parents did not beat you enough as a child, or else you'd have respect for people with actual jobs.

I hope your redneck-loving neighbors realize how much of an absolute bitch you are. And with your level of intelligence I'm surprised you know what a phone is, much less electricity.

Grow up and take that pineapple out of your saggy cunt. If you hate your kids so much, give them to an actual parent. You're worse than the paste eaters in an elementary school, which I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't graduate from.

Oh, and don't expect good customer service from any establishment (sorry if that's too big of a word for you) while being a stuck-up prick.

Ps: Fuck you.

Lilix said...

I became an instant fan! Not only is your writing simply excellent, but the way you provoke people is priceless and necessary. Your topics are awesome, and the comments just prove your genius!
Thank you!

Anonymous said...

Bravo Kev,
Bravo. You just hit the nail on the freaking head about this trashy ass whore.

Anonymous said...

I'm currently looking into contacting her phone company to show them this blog post.

Anonymous said...

You have got to be the biggest scumbag I have ever heard about. From the beginning of this story its apparent that you are fucked up. Do your kids a favor and put them in foster care. Everything you did in this story was handled poorly. Its apparent you think the world revolves around you, as only an idiot would leave the house during the appointed time then be surprised, and even upset, that he arrived toward the beginning of the window. Then you left again to go drink beer? Are you fucking kidding? You are a moron and a scumbag. Get yourself under control and stop being so trashy.

Anonymous said...

You are one sad woman.

Maybe some day you will figure out that the world *doesn't* revolve around you.

Until then, GLHF being a bitch and wondering why you have no friends.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're a real bitch.
I'd hate to be one of your kids.

Anonymous said...

You know lying under contract is fraud right? I've reported you to your phone company because you're dumb enough to put this post on the internet with your name.

Anonymous said...

SO HOW MAY BEERS DID YOU HAVE BEFORE YOU WERE GOING TO PICK YOUR KID UP?

Anonymous said...

You'd better look out, Joss....according to two posters, they've reported you to the big bad phone company. I'm sure the cops will be there any second. You'd better head for the hills!

Irfan Khan said...

*sigh*

Can I clone you?

Anonymous said...

What's almost more fun than your posts Joss are the idiots who stumble across it and post inane and abusive comments. Who ever said that Americans are too dim to recognise irony.
Oh, I'd be soooo worried that they've 'reported you to your telephone company'. I bet all those phone company dimwits are busily searching their listings for the Testes-Harder household. Hilarious!

Dustin said...

It is a shame people cannot see themselves from an outside perspective. Maybe one day you will re-read your posts and realize what everyone else on the internet, with the exception of a few other trashy people, see you for. The list of adjectives used to describe you are almost completely negative based on the information you have given.

What's more sad is that YOU will never care fix the errors of your ways to better yourself as a person, and instead you embrace the fact that you are an overly aggressive, impulsive, cheap (in more ways than one), bitch that has no concept of respect.

I hope you don't raise your brood with your same set of morals and mentality.

Angelus said...

Karma is a bitch isn't it?

And apparently you are too.

Duncanr said...

great stuff !

P.S. and the comments are a hoot, too !!!

frigginloon said...

Friggin brilliant,if I were you I'd tell that phone company to go Jack themselves! How friggin rude!

Anonymous said...

The old cow is just pissed because the technician wouldn't service HER, when he finally showed up. Beefaroni, etc=a smokescreen for not getting bent over and hammered. In front of the kids.

Angelus said...

Yep, keep hiding behind your Anymonity, person laughing at me. At least I have the guts to put a name to my words.

The greater internet fuckwad theory in action.

Anonymous said...

Let's see. You have a hair-trigger potty mouth and violent temper. You lie to the company about how the phone got damaged, you aren't home when (blessed miracle!) your house is first on the repairman's list, you drag your husband into the dispute and make him lie about your having been there all the time, you bitch at the customer-service rep, you get drunk waiting for the rescheduled repairman, insult the man and show no sympathy that he's missing his son's game, and when the repairman correctly assesses the situation, refuse to pay, poke him in the chest, shower him with abuse and throw the damaged phone at his departing vehicle. You are an inveterate liar, an uncontrolled bitch and a conscienceless harpy. I know the Taliban mistreat women, but this kind of makes me want them to win.

Anonymous said...

I can't believe that you kicked your phone off the wall over missing beef a roni. For starter beef a roni is absolutely disgusting and shitty. I can't believe you even eat that shit. You disgust me.

And you giving the phone guy a really hard time cause you are an asshole is even more ridiculous. You are a real fucktard in my book.

Anonymous said...

So are you in jail yet? With all the powerful people who read this and said they were going to report you to the phone company, I'd have expected the SWAT team to have kicked in your door a long time ago. What's that? They're full of shit? Oh, OK.

Anonymous said...

Some people just don't get it.

Sazji said...

Most people, actually. If you can't beat 'em, at least you can snicker at 'em. :)

Anonymous said...

If you ask me they owe you a huge appology - what ever happened to "The customer is always right?"

I think FutureShock is right - sue there asses.

Then buy a pound and smoke it in their faces.

Anonymous said...

what a cunt... only good customers deserve good service. fucking cunt

Anonymous said...

I can't believe you didn't tell me this when you were at O'Charley's, I'll fix yer phone jack for free! Give me a call!

LootBag said...

That was priceless. You had me totally hooked until the last sentence, at which point I finally grasped the irony, and burst out laughing.

Do you giggle to yourself when you are writing this stuff?

Brilliant. Just brilliant.

Anonymous said...

Wow are you something else. People like you need to not be around. It's funny because you low class people feel so entitled to everything. Newflash! You didnt work hard enough for anything in your life! k? its pretty obvious. So where does this leave us? It leaves us at you shutting it (not to mention the rest of you labourers) and not procreating any longer. It is people like you that add just another moron to the vastness of human idiocy. Congrats on being a drain on society

Ms.Terri said...

Ha! I'm so glad I stumbled on this blog! You're brilliant! But oh, so horribly misunderstood.

Manny said...

you poked the phone guy? you are a slut!

Anonymous said...

Fuck that guy!! He didn't even fix your shit. I bet he would have done it if you would have given him some of that fine pussy. Then you wouldn't have had to pay and he would have a case of the clap. Joke would have been on that dumb mother fucker!! LMAO

Joe said...

Please kill yourself. cunt

Lilix said...

"I know the Taliban mistreat women, but this kind of makes me want them to win."

Uhm, holy shit!

TP said...

wow, definition cunt, who gets mad over so many little things, her life must be tradgic drama cycle.

Mülk said...

Beautiful, absolutely beautiful. All these bitch-ass Anons know better than to post w/real names, lest they meet with a real mur'kin like you to show em a little "who an what fer" - I bet their kids are whiny-lib bitchas and your kids will totally kick their poor-customer-service-lovin' asses! America, Fuck Yeah!

Anonymous said...

if i were the phone man i'd have gladly risked losing my job so i could cram that phone jack right up your ass. i feel sorry for your kids, they are victims of your stupidity.

Anonymous said...

You are FUNNY!

Anonymous said...

hahahaha!!!!....you are so funny!....how totally un-american of you....I mean to have a sense of humour like this!....no wonder so many of your country men/women don't get you!

Rock on, honey, you're brilliant!

Your biggest fan!

L.

Anonymous said...

I bet it was the fucks at the phone company that stole your beef-a-ronie. They got what was coming to them.

Hugh said...

My mother was named Jocelyn. If only she could have been you!
You are the reason the internet tubes was made.

Anonymous said...

God help you woman, you're a fucking basket case.

Anonymous said...

I get the feeling that all the anonymous insultors just don`t get the point of your blog. I check it ever so often for a good laugh. Keep on keepin` on!

Anonymous said...

As a child of a customer service representative and a technician, I am appalled. The technician was there at exactly the time he was supposed to be, waited for you, was more courteous than he needed to be in telling you that you don't get things fixed when you're the one who broke it in the first place, and you threw him under the bus. He had other homes to get to, and it is not his job to wait around for you.

FutureShock, they get paid very little. They don't "drive around giving people crap." They work hard to be proficient in their job, and get hounded by irresponsible, self-centered people like this woman. They deserve much more than they get paid for all of the horrendous things people do to them.

You are a horrendous person, and a disgrace to the American people.

The Restless Mouse said...

It would probably taken him less time to install a new jack than to argue about it. That would be true customer service. And then he could wipe his ass on your TV remote when you weren't looking.

Anonymous said...

Beef-a-roni comes in a can? Oh, wait, I'm thinking of Hamburger Helper. I'm just confused.