Tuesday, August 5

Knitting hotties!

I just joined one of those ironic craft groups, The Knotty Hotties! Apparently knitting isn't just for grannies anymore! Our "Hotties" group is only for sexy single young ladies! We knit while talking about our men, and about other private stuff! On my very first group meeting the girls helped me choose some affordable starter materials, and they helped me diagnose my irregular discharge problem!

This is our group leader (and my new knitting guru) Gretchen North!

She's taught me a lot about knitting already, and she's full of creative sex tips! Phil really enjoyed this one new position she taught me called "The Supergoat"!

Not only is this a relaxing, enjoyable hobby, but the financial savings are through the roof! For example, I can knit my kids some cheap wool underwear rather than spending money at the Goodwill! Of course, why should I waste money on yarn when I can make my own? Everyone on my Christmas list is getting a two-foot long scarf made of spun cat dander!

Right now I'm working on a simple little purse to keep my smokes in. I think my next project is gonna be one of these raunchy thongs! But I'm gonna make mine with rebel flag colors! I might even make it a fancy crotchless one!

If that works out I'm gonna knit Phil a red velveteen bulge cozy.


Oboe Hobo said...

oh good god...

Lantern Bearer said...

Oh Lawd! I am sweatin' like a 4-Square Holiness preacher at the third altar call.