Tuesday, August 12

Let kids just be kids!

I feel so bad for children these days! They're under so much pressure, with all the adult rules and structure we place upon them. That's why I try to let my kids just be kids! They should have fun while they're young, and they'll end up being stronger for it!

Kids learn by trying new things. They need to drift out to the deep end of the pool to learn that they can't swim. They need to split their heads open to learn that bikes are dangerous. They need to be seriously electrocuted every now and then to understand the dangers of a unprotected outlet.

I guess it's not the basic protection that bothers me so much. It's the overprotection! These parents put their kids in helmets and pads. They dress their kids in snowsuits, even when there isn't any snow on the ground. These little brats are growing up to be sissies!

Another problem I've noticed lately is with the anti-bacterial soaps and gels. Kids build their immunities by being exposed to germs, not by being shielded from them! I'm not saying you should serve their dinner out of a dead cat's ass. I'm just saying...they're not surgeons! So let them be kids! The grubbier they are, they healthier they'll become!

The very worst parents out there are the ones who get into other parents' biz-nass! I've actually gotten a couple calls from other girls' parents about my daughters Myspace page. Apparently they found her pictures offensive. I told them that if my teenage daughter wants to show her ass on myspace, that's her thing! She's young and just trying to have fun! It's not like she's some kind of whore!

Anyway, just think about this the next time you see someone wiping off a kids mouth, making a kid attend school, or forcing them to tie their shoes. Kids should have fun and be young! They should kiss and punch and bleed their way to maturity the old fashioned way!

.

33 comments:

Elizabeth James said...

Hell Yeah,

I cannot wait for the day one of these parents call to complain about my kids...I will promptly take off their Croc and shove it up their ass!

E

Anonymous said...

What's your daughter's myspace address?? lol kthnxbye

Obbop said...

If America possessed more females such as thee there never would have been a need to implement the Females as Property Movement not its adjunct, the Dump Your Dame Movement.

If the Females as Property Movement ever succeeds in implementing its semi-stated goals society-wide you, Jocelyn, will be one of the small minority of females allowed full and unlimited access to adult society.

I, the Mighty Obbop, star of neither stage nor screen, would not be surprised if several statues were emplaced in sundry strategic locations honoring you.

Anonymous said...

"The grubbier they are, they healthier they'll become!"

do you have any idea what you're talking about?

Lord Sabbat said...

your kids are going to be dumb. just sayin.

Daniel Alvarado said...

This is a perfect example on why people who never passed middle school in Red Neck America should not be allowed on the internet.

Lee said...

Title should read "How to be a stereotypically bad parent in modern America."
Way to perpetuate problems with what you believe are progressive parenting ideas. There IS a happy medium between conservative/overprotective and progressive.
This...this is just lazy parenting and a a sad attempt to make your daughter think you're "cool." Sounds like someone never got past the high-school mentality of needing everyone's approval, regardless of the consequences of their actions to win that approval.

Anonymous said...

I agree in everything you said.

Anonymous said...

You're a complete moron and a perfect example of white trash. shut your gap toothed face and bail your hooker daughter our of prison

Anonymous said...

tl;dr
don't worry your kids will play those games at their friend's houses...or be friendless...you lose.

Riddy said...

Parents like yourself are perhaps why emergency rooms are so overcrowded with preventable accidents and illnesses. Germs and viruses are not the same as they were even a generation ago, they've adapted and mutated to become more dangerous. Do you at least believe in vaccines?

It is true that kids these days are being coddled, inflated with a sense of entitlement that is unearned. However, splitting one's head open on a playground does not a moral citizen make. cuts and scrapes, fine. Serious gaping wound, NO. Your rant pole-vaulted the line between easygoing parenting and negligence. I do hope your daughter at least uses some kind of protection.

Anonymous said...

I cannot wait for the day I throw my kid off the swings and laugh at his broken bones and pee on his face. Doesn't matter that the naked pics she posted make her look like a whore, she aint no whore just a fun kid with whore clothes and stuff. All that pressure to go to school and junk when they can be snorting coke and shit. It's awesome being in American! Get 'er done!

HoyaBird8 said...

Oh, my god, these comments are too much for me to handle.

spnxtcessarosa said...

It is understandable that you argue against "germaphobes" (sp?) given that children do need to build immunities.There are, however, limits (as previously mentioned by Riddy). It is also understandable that so-called 'helicopter parenting' may prevent children from becoming fully independent. I am no expert and would like to hear evidence to support this type of behavior.

However, everything else in your rant shows a complete disregard for reasonable parenting while ignoring many of the reasons why our country has succeeded. Parents in the US should raise logical, responsible, and courageous human beings. Your community as a whole will end up paying for your lackluster..no, negligent..parenting. I agree with Lee and Riddy and sincerely hope that DCFS comes a knockin on your door..
And, in terms of your open relationship, I truly hope anyone foolish enough to get near that sandtrap you call a vagina realizes the futility of breeding with such a negligent human being.

Anonymous said...

This is crazy stuff.

The best comment was:
Anonymous said...

What's your daughter's myspace address?? lol kthnxbye

:D :D :D

If you can provide the MySpace address please do it :)

Anonymous said...

So, should she learn about the joys of syphilis and herpes through unprotected sex? If so, send me a message as soon as she's legal so we can get some learning done.

Anonymous said...

Yeah cause who needs things like school and tied shoes. Jocelyn, you're an idiot and I hope you've surpassed the age of having more children.

Anonymous said...

Sure... I'd take parenting advice from someone who thinks an "open relationship" is a good idea. Why bother to get married? Oh, no morals... just what you teach your kids.

Don't worry... you'll have plenty of time to visit your daughter at her new job pole dancing once you're divorced.

Teaching kids right from wrong is our JOB! Liberals like you are what is wrong with kids today.

Anonymous said...

And when your daughter gets rapped by some forty year old child predator what the hell are you going to tell her? He was just having fun?

The fact of the matter is YOUR a bad parent too! I fully agree that parents in america are over protective, but your just neglectful. Over protective is not letting them go out with friends because something might happen. It's things like allowing schools in part of the country to not teach that lynching DID in fact happen! (There was a girl in my college class that thought it was only in movies! Her school had never taught her about it at all!)

When your child gets raped for showing her ass on myspace, I hope you realize it's because you weren't being a mother to that girl.

Anonymous said...

You obviously have a mental problem and shouldnt be allowed to have kids let alone raise them. If you beleive its ok to let a young girl "your daughter" show her a$$ on myspace then you are a very disturbed woman and should be committed.

Anonymous said...

i look forward to doing a line of coke off your daughters ass when shes working at the strip club down the street

Comban said...

Thank you Jocelyn,

After reading your article I took my two young children down to the local park where a number of portable toilets are set up.

After a few minutes I had a fairly convenient rope dunking method set up in which I would lower my childrens heads into the bowl and hold them there for a few seconds.

Surely this will help build their immune system.

Personally I don't think allowing them to be electrocuted occasionally by an exposed outlet is enough. I've removed all alarm clocks in my house except my own, and have it set to wake me at different times of the night, in order to ensure that they can never predict when I'll strike.
I then quickly move towards their rooms and strike them with my weapons grade taser, followed by a quick punch to the gut.
As for my daughter, well I yell at her whenever she hasn't shown her arse on MySpace, thats frankly a minimum, as for condoms I've disallowed her from using them.
Its teen pregnancy or nothing for her.

Keep on fighting the good fight Jocelyn!

Anonymous said...

I agree with you.....not to the extreme of some of those examples (heads split open thing). But there is a major wussification of the children of this country going on........

Anonymous said...

Just curiously what does your husband/cousin think of the way you raise your kid?

Anonymous said...

tl;dr
All I know is you should not be allowed on the internet.


Please gtfo.

Anonymous said...

Electrocution is the stopping of life (determined by a stopped heart) by any type of electric shock.

I don't think allowing your kids to be "seriously electrocuted every now and then" is really what you're looking to do. Stop showing your intelligence by blabbering on the internet. And also, stop talking about how you're in an open relationship even though you're married. Do you think your kids have a shred of respect for you for that?

Anonymous said...

written proof that you don't love your children. Oh yeah! yet your children skip school and get hypothermia! and when the grow up and are total a-holes because their mother didn't care enough to put them in school or clothe them, they can blame it on you!

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for your children.

Anonymous said...

What you call being a good parent, I call being negligent. And I'm a kid. Everyone needs discipline. Yeah, we might hate getting grounded or chewed out, but the fact that our parents care enough to straighten us up lets us know that we're loved.

If your parents didn't treat you right -- if they hurt you or ignored you -- it's understandable that you might actually hold such radical beliefs. But by rebelling against the way you were raised you are unintentionally doing just as poor a job with your own kids. Love them enough to tell them "No."

Anonymous said...

All of that jibber jabber you were ranting on about was pure entertainment! It was like watching a episode of jerry springer. Thanks for you're crazy opinion Joceyln. GREAT READ =D

Anonymous said...

Damn, these comments are intense. Aren't strippers allowed to use hyperbole?! I think this lady is hilarious. I can't believe some of you think she would actually give her kid an HIV-filled syringe to shove in an electrical outlet. Kids today ARE wusses who have no idea how to stand on their own. The only thing I disagree with is letting the teenager post a pic of her ass on myspace. With all of the crap about sexting and underage photos, there is the possibility of someone winding up with criminal charges. Plus, unless you are using the highest security settings, some creeper could see that as an opportunity to harass her...

Anonymous said...

Honestly the dumbest blog i've read. Stop talking nonsense and watch after your kid before she gets aids.

Alexander_Betzel said...

Someone should show this to child services or something. I'm not sure exactly what laws you are breaking, as I am not a lawyer or anything, and although some of your sentiments may ring true, your behavior is atrocious.