Friday, April 17

Revenge is a dish best served bitter!

I'm happily remarried to Phil, but I can't deny that i still care about Kevin, my ex-husband. That's why it's been difficult lately, dealing with him and the court system. He was finally granted visitation with the kids, which is actually kind of nice, because I get more time to live my life. Since that happened, Kevin and I have tried to give each other as much space as possible to avoid any unnecessary awkward moments.

That was until I discovered that he's been dating a woman that he works with, and I suspect that she may be the whore he was cheating on me with! I've been asking around about this bitch, and she's got this reputation for being a real sweetheart, which tells me that she's a phony, and probably a kiss ass too. I'm sorry, but there is no way in hell I'm going to let a woman like that become the stepmother of my children!

The only solution is to use my cunning intellect and my kids to break them up. I've explained to my kids that she's some kid of succubus, and that she'll eventually try to kill me and Phil, and have their little asses shipped off to a military school. During their last visit I got them to steal me a key to the house. I went over there during work the other day and poured a whole bottle of Nair into his shampoo bottle. I hope she likes bald men!

That got me thinking of other ideas. I told the kids borrow a few other things from her and Kevin. They took a check from her checkbook, so I wrote it out for $1000, endorsed it in Kevin's handwriting, and deposited it into his bank account. I also ran up $300 in charges at the strip club on her credit card, and had the kids hide the card in Kevin's sock drawer.

Then I had them get me her cell phone number. I had my girlfriends call her, coyly asking for Kevin and then hanging up when she asked who was calling. Kevin's girlfriend is medium sized, so I gave the kids a bag of large bras and small panties from the Goodwill, which they've scattered under Kevin's mattress, and around the seats in her car (which is perfect because they share that car!)

If all this doesn't work I have a few other things I might try. I've got an old boyfriend who works at the court house who'd be willing to place Kevin on the sex offender registry. Or I could get the kids to drug his food, and I'll leave an anonymous tip with his job to get him drug tested and fired. And if all else fails, I'll hide in a parking lot and break her mouth with a wrench.

67 comments:

Anonymous said...

Honey, with all this attention you're devoting to Kevin, It seems clear that you're still in love with him. I hope you're are able to resolve this with Phil. One certainly wouldn't want this to turn into a soap opera!

Anonymous said...

You are a crazy bitch. Seek therapy.

Jack of all Trades said...

Hopefully it will not get to the wrench part - you seem to be quite resourceful to get physical with that bitch

Anonymous said...

All this because he cheated on you and you never got your revenge immediately when it happened? Your divorced and in a new marriage. Take a shot and get over yourself. This is all pointless now. On top of that, your ruining your kids and teaching them jackass behavior. I hope you do bash her face with a wrench so you will be in jail where you belong.

Anonymous said...

WHy you be hating on her she seems much better suited to raise yo kids than you is. Thank the lord yo ex let you he is straight now.

I will pray for you tonight with my church group.

Anonymous said...

It's good to know you watch out for your own. Don't let those sweet kids of yours be tarnished by her jezebel ways!

Troy said...

you are an idiot twat. Use your kids as a tool. NICE PARENTING SKILLS. Hope Kevin hands this to a judge and gets full custody of the kids, and you get to spend some time with Bertha in a concrete cell. dumb coont.

Anonymous said...

Wow, you're legitimately a psychopath and an awful human being to boot.

Anonymous said...

You have narcissistic personality disorder. Good for Kevin he got away from you, i hope the kids are able to as well. Way to teach them to deceive their father.

Anonymous said...

For fucks sake, visit a dentist!

Anonymous said...

Wow, you do understand that you just confessed to several felonies?

I hope you like prison.

Anonymous said...

if you spent this amount of energy on brushing your teeth once in a while maybe you wouldn't be so hideous?

please vist a dentist k thx bai

Anonymous said...

"use my cunning intellect and my kids"
- even if your husband is a cheating s.o.b, you are damaged goods lady - leave you poor kids wityh a tresuted friend, and get some help. Or maybe try loving your new husband and kids, and LET GO OF IT.

Anonymous said...

Ha!! That is funny, yet pathetic!
I had to laugh, too, after reading about how you size up your ex's new dates or wives. Girl, I hope I never have to see the face of a woman who would actually find your looks intimidating, especially if I was trying to enjoy a meal. I understand ugly people need love too, but eeellllggggg!

Cris said...

Your pathetic.

Lena LaFaye said...

You have some mad skills, I will be taking notes from you.

Anonymous said...

i hope your children seek permanent custody with their father since you are an unfit mother, no an unfit human to raise children and would be better off wiping yourself from existence.

Melissa said...

My mother did similar things to my father, using us. She is no longer a part of our lives. Please think of what you are doing to your children, they WILL grow up to regret and reject you. I blame my mother every day for tearing our family apart using underhanded tactics like those you are using, and I know my siblings do too.

Anonymous said...

Hey Kevin, if you are reading this please print out the website and show it to the judge at the next custody and settlement hearing. Give a copy to Phil aswell to let him know what kind of treatment he should expect from her.

karilee183 said...

NICE PARENTING SKILLS indeed, Joss! That Troy mofo was right...except Kevin will never get custody of your kids.

Lemme know if you need a sister to testify against that mister. I'm pretty sure Kevin gave me herpes a few months back, and I'm willing to tell a whole courtroom all about it.

Plus, my dealer says he knows Kevin's new girlfriend. If you want, I might be able to convince him to lace her stuff (if you know what I mean).

Anonymous said...

You are either:

1. Very funny
2 Very stupid

I haven't been able to figure out which of the two it is ...

Anonymous said...

Only the most cunning of criminals posts details of their crimes on the internet and include their own name and photo. You are indeed a genius.

Dr. John said...

You only made one mistake, you should have put the nair in her shampoo.

Anonymous said...

You fucking crazy bitch. No wonder your husband was cheating on you.

Getting your kids to steal his keys, credit card, assist you in sabotage. Your a great fucking role model. If you would just worry about your own fucking life instead of screwing around with other peoples you wouldnt get fucked around like this in the first place.

You call yourself a no-nonsense woman...but I beg to disagree. Do you have any senses at all? I believe you are devoid of a moral or social compass and instead govern your actions on impulse and lunacy.

lesley said...

The most important thing you and your ex did was to create life. If you continue on this path all you'll do is screw up your kids.

Let it go, forget about revenge and focus on what's best for your children. Is their dad a good dad? If he is then let them spend time with him, no strings attached. It's time to move on, for your sake but especially for your children.

Justin J. said...

Love, Love, Love.... I Love Joss.

I'll beat Kevin's ass if you need (random acts of violence occur everywhere, all the time).

All you need to do now is get guys to start calling his phone, asking for her.

Anonymous said...

Congratulations, you have managed to scar your kids for life. But don't worry;they'll grow up to hate you for it and you can blame it all on Kevin and his sweetheart of a woman.

I truly hope she finds this blog and realizes what a bitch you are. BTW Kevin if you're reading this print it out and take it straight to the judge.

Anonymous said...

Maybe you ex's girlfriend needs to hit you with the wrench. So she can help you get your teeth fixed. Atleast if they are all knocked out you can get dentures. But then again you would not be the hideous bitch you are if you did that. hmmm sounds like a problem.

Anonymous said...

Yet another Blogger.com user who could do with a bit of Valium. Grow up you crazy ass gap toothed skank. You're obviously not mentally fit enough to be in the care of children.

Anonymous said...

1. You use your kids as a weapon.
2. What happens if she, he, or a police officer reads this?
3. Did you get proof she did anything wrong? If the whole town is saying she's nice...maybe she is.

You have a husband, don't they deserve a chance at happiness too?
Just saying girl...

Anonymous said...

I wanna hear more about how you ran up $300 on her credit card at the strip club! Hope you brought some good friends and made even more!

Anonymous said...

What goes around comes around!

Herbert Barry Woodrose said...

I am hiley disgused at these people who dont get it. There is a resom that American is always numbner one, and that is because we do what it takes. You have as many rights as you can enforce, bithc! And Joc enforces her rights! How else do you win in the Iraq? This is a Christin nation and I wish people would get over themselvs.

Dale Brumfield said...

She's a "Hee Haw Ho".

Anonymous said...

"Blogger Lena LaFaye said...

You have some mad skills, I will be taking notes from you."

No. She is just mad... You follow in her footsteps you will look like her in 20 years.

glenneroo said...

HAHA i love all the anonymous rants, bitches, whiners and otherwise reject parental wanna-be pussies, who, given half a brain would gladly trade it in for a shiny silver dollar... because it's shiny.

keep up with provoking puritan americans! you have my support (as well as the rest of europes!)

psycoblue said...

KILL!! thats what i say! and if that seems a bit extreme, i love the wrench idea. resourcefull doesnt even sum it up! Theres nothing more American than using your kids as tool to get back. isnt that what they are designed to do? if they arent cutting the grass, or washing the dishes, they should be working, or doing the dirty work. right on!

kcbruski said...

I think its cute how mad people get at you... when you are just freaking hilarious! You rule, and I think your crazy stories are awesome.

Anonymous said...

geesh! What a bitter person you are!

Anonymous said...

By the looks of it- SOMEBODY was already hit in the kisser with a wrench

Anonymous said...

Forget the ex... just give all the atention to your boyfriend. REALLY.
Just make your "new" life better, forget the old one. Your kids will thank you one day.
Another crazy american... geeesh

Anonymous said...

Just when I thought I met the most ignorant, self-centered person I find your blog!

Thank you for lowering that bar even lower! You should really look up Jerry Springer, you would fit right in.

I feel bad for the guy who had kids with you. Please don't bread any more.

Thank you,
Humanity.

afternoondj said...

You rock! My wife ran off with her boss..isn't it ironic his name is Phil..anyway she won't have anything to do with our 3 year old son and this is probably for the better as all she did was scream at us and pick fights with us all the time..besides being a pathological liar and serial cheater she is flat out a hateful witch...Now every 3 weeks or so she'll switch personalities and transform back into the girl I married..showing up with cards professing love and begging forgiveness..asking to come back home to be a wife and mother..that lasts about a day and then she runs back to Phil...her boss at Dollar General. I won't fall for that again..now it's all about the revenge..any ideas.

Anonymous said...

I am intrigued by your ideas and wish to subscribe to your newsletter. By which I mean, RSS feed.

Some Guy said...

What's up Jocelyn? I live in VA too. You want some company? I could use a little extra crazy in my life. Seriously. Hit me up if interested.

Sazji said...

I bet you'd be a blast on April Fool's day. I am *so* doing the Nair thing to my grandma this weekend!

Anonymous said...

I hope your ex prints this blog off and takes it to a judge.

Anonymous said...

Amazing....simply amazing. This is a prime example of how screwed up the court system is, women most always get the kids in the divorce, and clearly, you should not have.

Anonymous said...

you should kill yourself. make your kids' lives better,and the world better as well.

Anonymous said...

You stupid c*nt..

Your kids will grow up to be just as sick and twisted as you are..

Hope you get ass-raped by a stray HIV infested donkey while bent-over drinking from a puddle on a sidewalk when you become homeless after getting evicted and getting fired from your job at the brothel because of your drug habit that you picked up from the first drunk guy who was completely and utterly desperate for a ride after your husband dumped you when he discovered that you have a thing for sucking his dog's dick because it somehow reminded you of what your father did to you on your 40th birthday..

you ugly fucking bitch..

Anonymous said...

I think you need a good ol fashioned pounding. Taking it every which way. You wanna leave Kevin alone. You need to get a bit more loving yourself. Well not exactly loving, you know, a proper POUNDING!!!! Right up to the nuts.

I love angry women. You could make quite a few men very happy taking out your revenge in a much more 'grown up' way.

Anonymous said...

This explains the popularity of pro wrestling. Credulous people are sure gullible. Ha, gullible is a funny word.

fairlyodd said...

You need to make friends with someone at the VD clinic too! What better way to provoke disharmony than the threat of crotch bugs?

Niall said...

How did you get this mental. he just loves his kids and wants to see them. Leave the poor man alone.

Anonymous said...

This is awesome. keep up the good work lady! God love ya

Anonymous said...

In my humble opinion, Kevin's $1000 check would have been put to better use getting those nasty teeef fixed. Get help, lady - you're a wack-job.

Anonymous said...

you could go to jail for fraud, and you could ruin your children s' relationship with their father.
suck it up and move on.

Anonymous said...

Open relationship? Take care of your needs?
You need shock therapy and a straight jacket. As ugly as you are, there's no doubt why your husband agrees to this open relationship.

Anonymous said...

You really should kill yourself. Now I am not saying this to get anything, I just want to spare the world of one more bitch that will fuck up the world for all of us. Go ahead. Die. I guarantee that no one would care. So have a good life. A hopefully short one.

Anonymous said...

you are a loser, lady.

my advice? do something constructive. your life sounds like a shitty lifetime drama.

Anonymous said...

wow you are a complete retard, as others have said you have admitted to sever felonies and are liable to lose custody of your children and for their sake, I hope you do lose custody and your ex-husband gets them and leaves you rotting in prison.
You deserve to be sent straight to the 7th circle of hell to endure an eternity worth of suffering you ugly buck tooth whore.

Also just incase you didn't realise being married and sleeping with other people is actually illegal.

I wish cancer upon your body as it has clearly taken your soul already.

Richard said...

very cunning intellect haha except for one major flaw...YOU POSTED YOUR CONFESSION ONLINE...this belongs on worlds dumbest criminals haha...get help you need it

bundyxc said...

It's my policy to make sure that I don't post my felonies online.

http://tinyurl.com/yj2q4ad

Anonymous said...

I think I have a friend who was tutored by you. You are a genius and surely authored the book titled "Being Devious".
rentman

Anonymous said...

You are a disgusting human being.

Anonymous said...

"I am hiley disgused at these people who dont get it. There is a resom that American is always numbner one, and that is because we do what it takes. You have as many rights as you can enforce, bithc! And Joc enforces her rights! How else do you win in the Iraq? This is a Christin nation and I wish people would get over themselvs."

I had to quote this because you obviously have no clue what being a Christian means. Jesus forgave adulterers, thieves and even murderers. He preached "turn the other cheek." You are not a Christian, nor is any nation a "Christian nation" (remember when Jesus said "give Caesar what is his?" yeah, he pretty clearly said that governments of man were NOT of God). You disgust me but that's okay, I'm not the one who judges you.

Anonymous said...

Do you even give a shit about your husband? You are spending so much time worrying about someone in the past that you are poisoning your CURRENT marriage. You do understand that you going on like this makes me (and apparently most posters on your blog) completely understand why your husband cheated on you. You don't want your current husband to know. WHY? Probably because you KNOW that if Phil knew the kind of person you REALLY are (the kind who does exactly what you have mentioned) then he would leave you too. You do not deserve love or happiness. I just hope that God forgives you because I believe that most people (including your own children) may one day never be able to.