Monday, September 21

Let me ride!

Phil has been making good money by contracting work out on some large-scale plumbing jobs. I guess that's why he thought it would be okay to trade in his 1986 Monte Carlo towards the purchase of a gently used Dodge Caliber (without even telling me!). The Caliber only has 12,000 miles on it, which made it way cheaper than a new one. This car is hot!



The problem is that maybe this car is a little too hot! For one thing, it makes my car look like shit. It's totally unfair that he should have a better car than mine. It also makes Phil a little too proud. And you know how those home wrecking bitches will try to get with him just because they like his car. It's not that I don't trust Phil. I just don't trust them bitches!

So last Tuesday I asked Phil if I could drive his Caliber to work. I could tell he didn't want me to, but he let me do it anyway. I guess he didn't get the hint that he was never going to drive this car again unless I'm riding in the passenger seat. If he's going to be driving to job sites all day then he can do it in my ex-husband's old piece of shit Mercury Cougar. It's already beat up, and it gets better gas mileage!

Phil realized by Thursday that I've taken his car as my own. He's been pouting like a child all weekend. I tried to tell him that he should go buy himself another car if he hates the Cougar so much, but I know he can't afford another car payment. Not on top of the payments for this house he bought me, and I'm sure he's still making payments on that ring.

Yes, I could probably afford to buy a new car for myself, but I told Phil before we got married that what's mine is MINE! One of the things I learned from my first marriage is that divorces can happen to anyone. No matter what happens, I will always be in a position to take proper care of me and my kids. Having this trustworthy new vehicle is just one more way that I can prepare for the worst.

_

56 comments:

Anonymous said...

Makes perfect sense to me. I can't imagine any rational person having an argument with that logic. If he gets whiny, ditch him - and keep the Caliber.

lydia eve said...

Wait, Mom? Is that you writing this blog???

The Lone Wolf said...

The most important thing is to look out for #1 (you) and your kids (#s 2-4). If Phil keeps giving you attitude remind him how empty and hollow his life was before you met!

Kaddy said...

haha, thats a bitchmove.

Anonymous said...

wow, what a DB. Maybe you should ask your husband for a new set of teeth while you're at it.

Anonymous said...

um... does it occur to you that your selfish attitude makes you a bitter and nasty person? What gives you the right to treat another human being that way? Are you being a bitch to your current husband in advance of him becoming your ex-husband when he finally gets tired of you taking out your first-marriage-resentment out on him? Lady, you need to do some real long selfless soul searching and ask your self what do you do for him that is worth putting up with your crazy head games. I feel sorry for him and for you. You are going to end up a lonely, bitter woman if you don't get over it and stop thinking you deserve ANYTHING YOUR selfish self didn't work hard for. This is so very very sad....

CochinitaPibil said...

Anonymous is right...this is so very, very sad. For Phil, that is.

It's incredible that a man would be dumb enough to think that if he buys a new car, that he has the right to drive it.

He has a dirty job, and there's no need going and messing up the seats with all that grime. I know Jaquelyn will keep the vehicle in better shape in the long run, hence retaining the KBB value, and saving money in the future if they ever sell or trade it in.

You should be taking life advice from Jackie & how to retain marital bliss & car value, not criticizing her because she doesn't fit *your* ideals of hard work & valor.

Anonymous said...

Wow! In addition to going with a name like "Testes-Harder", you come off as a total cunt. Your ex must be a total pussy because I'd fucking bitch slap you till you couldn't stand any longer. On top of all that, you are one fucking ugly twat. Good luck ever getting fucked again...EVER.

Anonymous said...

Let me tell you..Phil doesn't need that car for me to get with him. I've been doing that since before! So keep on thinking it's the car..I drive a corvette that he has a spare key to!

JPeaslee said...

Whatever! You should kick Phil's ass. He should have bought YOU a car before even thinking about buying his own.

Anonymous said...

I love fucking men like your husband who have been walked over and downtrodden for years. They have so much pent up frustration! Hope I can meet Phil soon. Judging from your picture and personality, I don't think his decision would be hard. Kisses.

Anonymous said...

Damn you're ugly.

Anonymous said...

You're treating your man like dirt out of your own fears and resentment. Your afraid that he will cheat on you because a bling car will draw the hounds and because you have previously been messed with.

Give him some credit, give him the car. Stop repressing him or you will end up being the driving force behind the events you fear will happen.

Anonymous said...

Why do bitches like you always feel entitled to something? Buy your own damn car. Your man works hard, so he deserves the car. He already bought you a house so why do you need more? BTW, I'm not sure why he would buy you anything since you are nasty as shit.

Anonymous said...

No way would I marry a woman like you. Unbelievable, buy your own damn car. Your husband should grow some balls and divorce your ass before you take anything else!

Anonymous said...

Umm DAMN! You are not only a raving bitch but you are also not attractive at all. Is your husband a coke head? I mean to marry you he had to be high.

Anonymous said...

Looks like a selfish gold digger got her way. Poor dumb bastard Phil needs to grow a pair and take on that what's mine is mine attitude you seem so proud of.

Anonymous said...

You are a bitch.

and trust me, if the dude settled for something as fugly as you, there won't be any "home wrecking bitches" after him. Plus, that car is nowhere near "hot".

Anonymous said...

All I have to say is:

:-(

Jeb said...

I love how she says it's an "open" relationship, but he made him promise there will be no fu**ing around!! What a bitch!

Anonymous said...

Maybe you should earn your own car you selfish undeserving bitch! look at your post! ME ME ME ME ME... wow if he was smart he would get rid of you before you take everything HE has and HE worked for. evil woman!

Anonymous said...

you are a dumb filthy whore

Anonymous said...

I'm curious: when you dress up in black patent leather, 6-inch stiletto heels, and sporting a cat-o'-nine tails, do you call yourself Mistress Delilah, or some such? Do you get much business?

Anonymous said...

Maybe if you were even the least bit attractive, you would possibly deserve a car after about 10 BJ's! You are ugly toothless and a red head, perfect Scott-Irish white trash, it's fitting you live in a white trash red-neck state nasty toothless bitch. Maybe you should worry about fixing your teeth instead of worrying about a car. He must be a real prize too, because to be with a nasty white trash bitch like you he can't have much if any self-esteem.

Anonymous said...

YOU SUCK

Anonymous said...

Damn, I wonder why I can't find you on E-Harmony?

Anonymous said...

I hope Phil smartens up and leaves soon with the car. I feel sorry for your kids. They should have a mother that cherishes them instead of considering them a pain in the ass. Get some life insurance and die.

Anonymous said...

I hope you don't have any little girls because they are going to turn out to be the same cunt whore that you are. I wish I knew your husband. I'd let him know so quickly what you think of your two lives and your children. I'm not from your area but I would search him out to let hime know, and he would end up with the car, the house and kids. You cunt bitch whore would end up with only memories of what a fucking stupid cunt bitch whore that you are. Someone in the area, please search out her husband and let him know what she posted. It's perfect for the perfect divorce. CUNT!!!!

Anonymous said...

So, what's the MPG like on the Caliber?

Anonymous said...

wow your a real fuckin cunt aren't you?

Anonymous said...

I don't remember how I happened to come across this blog a week ago, but I'm glad I did...this is some of the funniest sh1t I've ever read

Anonymous said...

I can't decide which is funnier, the comments or your blog. Keep up the laughs Jocelyn.

camskee said...

Hahaha, lame car and an ugly wife.

Anonymous said...

I uploaded your pic to AmIHotOrNot.com and you're hovering around a 2 out of 10....although don't feel bad, on AmIWhiteTrashOrNot.com you're a 10!

Harleyrydr said...

For someone who claims to be a strong independent woman you sure sound like a typical woman.Lord knows you wouldn't buy your own when your pathetic husband will give his up.Tell him to reach down,feel around for his balls and if he still has them BE A FUCKING MAN!!If he can't find them( or if they're in your back pocket )then put on a dress 'cause he's more of a little bitch than you!
Love,
your favorite nemesis, Harleyrydr

Anonymous said...

wow you suck

Anonymous said...

You really are a cunt. How dare you think that you have any right to anything? How about you earn something instead of taking it from people. You are NOT entitled to shit just because you're you.

Beth said...

What's yours is yours?

What about WHAT'S HIS IS HIS, you skanky, thieving, left in the dark ages, putting ALL women EVERYWHERE in a bad light, piece of crap?

Jeez. It's painful that there are still such selfish, money-grabbing asshole women like this existing. Hope ya die soon, stone age slutface.

Anonymous said...

WOW!!! WHAT A B---!! You are already preparing for a divorce! Should be too! I would let you drive the car out of town, then come pick it up and leave your a$$ on the road!!!
F-That!!!!!

Anonymous said...

Hey you snaggle toothed cunt, what makes you think your shit don't stink. As ugly as you are, you're damned lucky to have any man. How did you get that fuckin' ugly in just 36 years?

Charlotte said...

You continue to inspire me.

Anonymous said...

That fuckin Phil is a real whiny douche! You should tie him to the bed and ass-rape him with a broom handle until he learns his place.

Anonymous said...

You should dump that fucking pussy!

Hop into your sweet new ride, babe, and and take a spin over here to the hog farm. Me and the boys know exactly how to handle a swine like you, if you know what I mean...

Anonymous said...

You should have had Phil buy you that black Z-28 that was behind the Caliber. That car would look great sitting on blocks in front of your house in a few years!

Anonymous said...

Wait - that's a hot car to you? Bwah ha ha ha haaaaaaaaaaa

Anonymous said...

You demand what you want and if it's not given to you... You take it? What a cunt!

redasiabutterfly said...

This is great. I read 1 blog of yours today and was like "wtf?". Needless to say, I thought you might have some issues you needed to work on. Then I kept reading.. One post after another. They're great. You're great.
Thanks for sharing your warped and twisted mind.


Peace.

Anonymous said...

What an ugly bitch, and what a horrible person.

Anonymous said...

Your "husband" should trade you in for something hotter. Bitch.

Your about me explains it all.

Anonymous said...

People sure get jealous when you get yourself a new car, don't they?

Quit the coke, smoke some pot so you'll stop being a dirty selfish bitch said...

Ha if I was Phil, even though I would never get myself into a position where I'm married to such a cruel bitch, I would just divorce your ass, show the lawyer your blog and take you for everything you have. Don't think that just because you have a vagina, you automatically get more in the divorce, substantial evidence of an abusive marriage can work in the mans favor also. Also, I'm not sure you were even born a woman. The more of your posts I read, the more I feel you used to be a crack addicted, swindling, male con-artist who got a sex change to pull off the ultimate con, being a woman and taking advantage of every situation in the grimiest way possible just because your a woman. I bet that's the truth and you just ate a ton of Richmond's finest delicacy, deep fried possum to get fat, told someone who fucked you in your surgically inside out penis, that your pregnant with there child and then adopted a child right before getting liposuction. I'm on to you, you grimy whore.

Anonymous said...

You're an ugly whore, and you'll always be alone. Your husband doesn't love you, he's only with you cause he can't afford the divorce.

Not Anonymous, intelligent said...

This was mean. People should not expect divorce.... well actually, in your case i will make an exception. (Leave her Phil) Well your lucky you got Phil. Its true what they say, "Every Dog has its day"

Anonymous said...

your such a gold digger !! and also very selfish...get over yourself already. its not like you are even halfway attractive

Anonymous said...

Jocelyn I really hope your reading these comments. i feel sorry for you, your kids and especially Phil

Anonymous said...

I feel sorry for your kids. Really.