I'm just over 7 months pregnant now. It's insufferable. I'm having a difficult time finding new guys who want to get with me, and nobody wants to sell me any drugs, which I need because I'm moody as hell. That makes me even angrier! I really need to get high sometimes. I can't risk messing up my new job by losing my temper. Hell, I can't even relax when I'm supposed to!
Like on Saturday. I was out at the club, gettin' my drink on and dancing a little. It had been a pretty weak night, until I caught the attention of a half dozen Mexican construction workers. They started talking about trying to bring me back to their motel room. Suddenly this rat-faced little bitch stomps over and gets right in my face, saying she was with them and that they had no interest in me anyway.
Normally I'm too smart to get violent. But you know I can't have no smelly, pockmarked slut pointing in my face and blowin' up my spot! As if her insults weren't enough, her stank breath just about turned my stomach. I walked off, took a seat across the bar, and began to bide my time. I continued to keep an eye on her without raising suspicion.
After about an hour I saw her heading towards the ladies room. I followed. I entered quietly and listened. She sounded like a cow pissing on a flat rock. Then she flushed, opened the stall door, and met with one powerful burst of orange dyed mace from the can that I keep in my purse! As she screamed and reached for her eyes, I smacked her in the nose as hard as I could. Then I turned, kicked open the bathroom door, and moved casually towards the exit.
My hand was burning all night from that mace, and it'll probably be stained orange for a week! It's a good thing my new job doesn't start until then, or I'd have some explaining to do! It would be nice to tell somebody though, just to vent! All this stress and bullshit does not make for a healthy pregnancy. Life can really pile it on like that sometimes!
So you can probably imagine how delighted I was to hear some good news! My daughter Darla is pregnant now too! Granted she's only 15, but we've got the money to support another child, so what's the harm? In a way I feel I need to help her take responsibility for this baby, because I've given her all kinds of hell for stealing condoms from my bedside drawer. I wanted her to buy her own, and I know how inconvenient that can be. Now she's going to learn how inconvenient a baby can be!