Sunday, November 9

If you don't know, now you know!

I've received a number of nasty comments over the past several months, many of them too rude to print. The one reader misconception of me that I don't understand is the idea that I'm somehow giving poor single mothers a bad name. This makes absolutely no sense to me, mostly because I'm not poor! I probably put away more money in a year than most of you do. The fact is, I enjoy a pretty decent income, and I'm really good with my money!

It's always been my priority to make sure that I've got plenty of cash coming in. My cushy office job pays me over $45,000 a year plus benefits. Then I've got my child support checks, and a welfare check that I receive under my maiden name. Also, back when we were married, Kevin's father died. Kevin was stationed over in Iraq, so he missed the funeral, among other details. He was one of the main beneficiaries, and since I was handling things for him at the time I arranged for the check to be sent to me instead. I just never told him about it!

Now that I've put my mom in the nursing home I've got an additional bill to pay. Of course it's no trouble, because I'm resourceful. I'll be using the proceeds from the sale of her house and her Social Security checks to pay for her stay, with a generous chunk of change left over. Opportunities like this one are reassuring, because I'm gettin' up there myself, and at this stage in my life it's really all about stackin' the Benjamins! But you can't just bring in money and expect everything to work itself out. You've gotta be smart with it!

That's why I also go to great lengths to protect my rights as a consumer, go out of my way to cut down on costs, and even take time to get my kids involved with supplementing my income whenever possible. I realize that these activities might make me seem poor or cheap to some of you, but I don't think there's anything wrong with being frugal. I guess we'll see who's right in our golden years, when I'm enjoying the highest quality assisted living available, and the rest of you are being abused in some cut rate nursing home like the one I put mother in!

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Girl you need to get your mother on medicaid so you can stop paying for her nursing home and save that dough for yourself!

Anonymous said...

This blog is amazing.

Justin said...

Will you marry me?

Anonymous said...

Are you for real about the welfare check in your maiden name? With an income of $45k a year? Sure hope you aren't lying to the welfare office to get that. A little thing called welfare fraud... Can't imagine why some people would think you give single moms a bad name.

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to Justin - marry me instead.

Lantern Bearer said...

You pipsweeks back off. Soon as I get this ankle bracelet off, I'm hauling my Dixie Chopper up ther and mow her yard. This is a silverback job.

Anonymous said...

You are defrauding the people of the United States. That welfare money is for people that need the money, not cheapskates that make over 40k a year and just want some extra spending money. You are a pathetic mooch of a person.

Anonymous said...

So your scamming welfare, you took the money your former father-in-law left to his son kevin while you still have that cushy office job. Then you put you mother in what you call some cut rate nursing home. Do you feel no remorse?

Anonymous said...

Sorry skank, you will be in jail when you die, unless you do something stupid and get killed before one of your scams catches up with you

Ra said...

It's so beautiful that you are seeing to it that your Mom gets the care and attention that she deserves. A lot of people just let them rot in their old house. Other people could learn a lot from your kind example. Now I'm a little misty.

Anonymous said...

The reason why you receive nasty comments is because you earn them--you're right nasty yourself. I can't imagine anyone wanting to be friends with you after reading what you've written in your blogs. You have a horrible attitude and seem to think the world owes you a living. Well, get in line. Oh, and that's really smart putting your name and address up on your blog. If your boss would happen to google your name and find this blog (as many employers do nowadays), you'd probably be standing at a register behind a McDonald's instead of sitting in your chair at your "cushy" job. But why do I even bother telling you this? You're either too arrogant to care or too dumb to figure it out for yourself, I'm not sure which. So enjoy standing behind the register at McDonald's.

Anonymous said...

Google the name? Try saying her "Full Name" and keep repeating it till you get it!

It's not that hard people! Take a minute and read five of her blogs, and if you are truly offended, then move on! If you do get it, then sit back and enjoy her humor!

Anonymous said...

this shit is hillarious

Richardhg said...

I am a New Zealander living in the US, and in the years I have been here, I have learned that this is what Americans mean by welfare. Just take what you can grab, and make sure your kids understand this is how Americans survive, as life gets more and more competitive.

I am truly impressed.

Anonymous said...

"My cushy office job pays me over $45,000 a year plus benefits. Then I've got my child support checks, and a welfare check that I receive under my maiden name. Also, back when we were married, Kevin's father died. He was one of the main beneficiaries, and since I was handling things for him at the time I arranged for the check to be sent to me instead. I just never told him about it!"

You fucking cunt. Do you push people in wheel chairs down the stairs and take canes from older people as well? People like you should have to register to have kids. No wonder his father died, I would have too being married to the queen succubus. I hope you get busted for welfare fraud.

Doug said...

If you are not joking about the mmmmmboundary violations ummmm I would suggest that a change of accounting practice may be just what the doctor ordered. I and those zany CPA's in accounts payable would like to offer up some sound and proactive legal advice concerning tax preparation and that propensity you have to let your artistic side shine through in your pursuit of maximizing cost benefit calculations and applying the findings of your analysis to real world accounting practices in the arena of acquiring generously subsidized and much appreciated opportunities to work hand in hand with governments fine attempts at stimulating the economy. I would give this advice freely even had I not been busted back in law school and been refused a bar card in 36 states. We know this blog is for entertainment purposes and we here at Dewey Cheatem and Howe want to qualify ms. Joceln's most excellent and just goddamn funny post with the acknowledgment that she and our tax lawyers spend a lot of time just cutting checks and leaving the amounts blank so any government official can just take what they need as well as taking even more to take the misses on vacation. We are so tired of people cheating on their taxes and defrauding the government that we will help provide for this fine country by doing the opposite of cheating. Just like we do every single friggin day even when you guys are not even looking. So any revenue agent or compliance official for any and all government agencies that have or can be granted the power to arrest and prosecute individuals from the private sector, don't waste your time chasing the wild goose of Jocelyn. If you need more evidence of jocelyn's integrity I will be shooting dice in the oleander bushes behind the seven eleven after 2AM tomorrow morning. Stop by and say hello to jocelyn's staff. I get the feeling the dice will be running hot for you. I am fucking sure of it.

Doug said...

Jocelyn would never push a guy off a cliff in a wheel chair or kick the cane from under a cripple. But she likes the way you think. Right now jocelyn is single mindedly focused on burning ants with a magnifying glass. Until this research is closer to fruition, we will take your suggestions under advisement and keep your letters on file. Um richardshg the limey from new zealand grab this.ooooooo