Monday, January 5

25 Unpleasant places to stay!

The new company I'm working for compiles reviews and reports from customer satisfaction surveys. According to our annual records, these are the 25 worst places to stay in America.

1.Ralph's Flophouse for Uncircumcised Males
2.The Kingdom Comeshot Infidelity Motel
3.KKK Campgrounds and Recreation
4.Mountain View Chigger Nest & Breakfast
5.The Eurotrash Ball Sweat Hostel
6.Rush Limbaugh's Scat Shack
7.The Gushing Bedsore Cabins & Spa
8.Rancid Landfill Vistas
9.The Force-It Inn
10.A tent shared with Andy Dick and a flat-chested Thai boy
11.Rubber Sheet & Corn Oil Manor
12.The Body Temperature DNA Receptacle Motor Lodge
13.Silverfish Tower
14.Jesse Ventura's House of Headbutts
15.The Villas at Dannamora State Prison for the Criminally Insane
16.Unwashed Comforter Econosuites
17.German "Watersports" Fantasy Bungalow
18.Hourly Porno Sets of Central Miami
19.The Weary Traveler Who Suffers from Irregular Discharge
20.The Pillow Humping Migrant Worker Resort & Casino
21.DP Tapeworm's Long Stay Lodge
22.Annoying Chambermaid Luxury Jumbotels
23.The Cider Vomit House of Dublin
24.Lost Kidney Vacation Rentals
25.The pee-soaked couch in Vincent D'Onofrio's basement
see also:
The nastiest hotel in Richmond!


Constance Velocity said...

It gladdens my heart to see that Vincent D'Orofrio's Pee-Soaked Couch made your list. Memories.

Anonymous said...

Now, really, you must include

Your single friend's bachelor pad. That boy is single for a reason.

Uh, the hair in the bathroom. (Excuse me . . .)

LSTB said...

Constance, I'm jealous. I spent some time on Vincent D'Onofrio's Pee-Soaked Couch, too, but thanks to that wicked cocktail he made me beforehand I have no memories of the event, much less the fond ones you seem to cherish. Dammit.

Anonymous said...

dont forget your bedroom because of all the sex toys. But the girl on girl porn is always entertaining.

Anonymous said...

Where do you get the D'onofrio reference from?

Old Crazy Cat Lady said...

I just realized I can't say "Scat Shack" ten times real fast.

I learn something new every day. Thanks for that.