Tuesday, October 28

We got hit by the jackpot!

Finally, some good news! I got in a car wreck!

Sunday is the day I try to spend time with the kids. I took the little ones out for a drive in the morning, and let them throw trash at bicyclists from the passenger window. Then my teenage daughter and I headed out to rummage through this one outdoor donation bin, which is almost always overflowing by Sunday night. We picked out a couple of cute tops, and I found a garbage bag full of bras! That's the biggest score I've had since the time I swiped a whole pile of thongs from the dryer at the laundromat!

So I'm driving us back home in the van, and the stupid DVD we were watching started messing up. I reached around to the back seat for another movie and my phone slipped off my lap. I was in the middle of a turn at the time, which required me to yield onto the next road. I couldn't look around to my left for traffic because I was still trying to fetch my phone, so I put on the breaks. I turned to the left to see nobody, and that's when we got rear-ended!

I pulled off to the shoulder and the other driver pulled over behind us. He ran right up to the van to make sure that everyone was okay. I could barely suppress my smile, but inside I was busting with excitement! I got out to exchange info and we looked at each others damages. Luckily we took the van that day, which has a really high rear bumper. There was only a little bit of damage to my bumper. The poor bastard who hit us was in a brand new Mazda 3, and his front end was smashed all to hell!

That's the least of his worries, though. I've been recommended to a very good injury lawyer. That ho Shirl at my office used him in a similar accident, and made off with $35,000. And even though this is only a low speed crash, and my unborn baby is fine, the lawyer is going to refer us to a special doctor. This guy is a master at diagnosing accident-related pain conditions which are very difficult to disprove. All I have to do is play along, and before you know it, I'll be gettin' paid!

29 comments:

Anonymous said...

Hi Jocelyn,

Woo hoo! I have to tell you that $35,000 is VERY low earnings from a rear-ender. You can do far better than that, just call your insurance company and inform them you're "concerned" about possible future injuries to you and the kids. Depending on your max benefit, you could make a hundred grand!

I am saddened by your response that I'm not ready for you - but I won't give up. You give me good ideas too - my insurance covers me to $200,000. So long as I don;t get killed, we could go pretty far with that...maybe to Myrtle Beach, just you and me? Please say yes!

Good luck on your winnings!

I wait patiently,
Schuyler

Anonymous said...

YEAH BABY! GET THOSE DOLLAR DOLLAR BILLS Y'ALL!

Anonymous said...

you're wild, but as long as your kids are ok. I'm trying to find out how much you're gonna be getting paid. You gotta hit me the info with that lawyer if it works out for you because I'm in Richmond right now also.

Hey, you gotta write something about Short Pump because I know you've had an experience out in that area also.

Anonymous said...

you are a moron. you're going to sue this guy because he rear ended you while you were turned around reaching for a dvd and a cell phone and hit the brakes for no reason? this is whats wrong with America, everyone trying to make off with some cash by suing. btw, posting this on a blog is an excellent way to get your case thrown out because you admitted partial fault of the accident in your post.

Anonymous said...

Too bad you didn't actually get hurt, ya dumb redneck cunt.

Justin said...

Lots of injuries can be faked... post-traumatic disorders etc... Nothing like disability for a little while, then go back to work in a month or three (while still sitting on $35K plus)!!! Get money, bitch!

Anonymous said...

wtf is wrong with you, its people like you that make insurance expensive for everybody. stop being a dumb cunt trying to screw the system and just go earn an honest living. fucking redneck.

Anonymous said...

Nevr mind teh hatrs, Jocylen. Stick it to teh man!

Nicholas said...

Maybe... just maybe, you shouldn't be posting the fact that you're getting away with this online. It may just be used against you in court by a defense team who happened upon your blog while searching the web.

Tristan said...

Wow, your children are now going to grow up honest and respectful thanks to your excellent example.

You must have been wondering if your life even had meaning until that fateful day, but now you know:
You made a difference in somebody's life, and no one can take that away from you.

Anonymous said...

Make sure you go to labor and delivery with contractions within the next couple of days! Even if nothing is wrong just having the appt with double your jackpot!

Anonymous said...

Congrats! Buy some boxed wine and celebrate!

Justin said...

Mmmm... $35k in Franzia, weed, and cigs! THE LIFE!

Token Something said...

I'm glad I'm not the only one who gets excited at the thought of another driver hitting.
I'm waiting for my new car.
Go ahead and get yours, girl!

Anonymous said...

Insurance fraud! It's what's for dinner!

Anonymous said...

Jocelyn my testes ftw

Anonymous said...

It doesn't matter if you were reaching for your cell; it's still their fault for not keeping a safe stopping distance behind you - it's ALWAYS the rear-enders fault, regardless! Unfortunately I'm still waiting for some dumb-ass to smash into me, I'm in desperate need of a car upgrade!

junebug said...

you should take the 35,000 and get your teeth fixed you raggity bitch

Anonymous said...

Hey, Idiots, VA is a pure comparative state!. that means if you contributed 1% to the loss, you get NOTHING!. Slamming on brakes for NO traffic is contributing. You have to allow a reasonaable amount of time for someone to react. A yeild sign, brake slam is classic, and Insurance adjusters do not fall for it, neither does the public when this goes to court before a jury, you'll get nothing. not even repairs, probably.

Anonymous said...

It's ignorant people like you who cause insurance rates to increase.

No worries though. The NICB (I'm sure your VERY reputable attorney has heard of them)and the insurance copmanies have already seen your post. Good luck on getting anything.

Anonymous said...

Freshly pulled from the Coalition Against Insurance Fraud's newsletter. If you don't know about the CAIF, it would serve you well to cruise their website and get an understanding of their reach. Happy Monday. Might want to pass this on to your attorney.

And you wonder why fraud losses are so high? Check out this Richmond woman’s blog posting: “Finally, some good news! I got in a car wreck!…I've been recommended to a very good injury lawyer. That ho Shirl at my office used him in a similar accident, and made off with $35,000. And even though this is only a low speed crash, and my unborn baby is fine, the lawyer is going to refer us to a special doctor. This guy is a master at diagnosing accident-related pain conditions which are very difficult to disprove. All I have to do is play along, and before you know it, I'll be gettin' paid!”

Anonymous said...

You ARE my ex-wife, aren't you!

I'll be over later for some familiar nookie tonight after the kids have gone to bed. Yeah, I'll bring a jug of hooch.....

Anonymous said...

Wow no wonder your husband left you. Being such a classy chick and all.
Do the world a favor drive your van off a cliff and take your entire family out of the gene pool.
I hope he counter sues and takes your house you white trash bitch.
and by the way you blogging about this entire thing admitting that it was your fault (eyes not on the road) good luck getting anything but herpes from sucking off your ambulance chasing lawyer, as digital media is now admissible in court.

Anonymous said...

Why all the hate? She paid into her insurance for years and got nothing but high premimums? Should she be allowed to get something? He truly wasn't all her fault?

Anonymous said...

You left no details regarding the place where the accident took place. Also, you didn't mention the date it took place.
I suppose it's your photo appearing on your blog.

Could you give us some additional details regarding the accident.

I'm interested.

Anonymous said...

It is unbelievable how many people commenting on your blog are missing the point. You think they'd figure it out by your name alone.

Lulz, lulz, lulz... ftw.

Melissa said...

Congrats on making the insurance newsletters Jocelyn!

Anonymous said...

They should lock your a@$ up in jail ... and let the rest of you go free.

AnontheGreat said...

I agree with Anon here...
Too bad you didn't actually get hurt, ya dumb redneck cunt.

You're going to sue a guy because your dumb redneck ass wasn't paying attention to the road and he rear ended you? God I hope you fucking die horribly. Cunt.