Sunday, September 21

Rainy day fun activities for kids!

Okay parents, call the kids in, and leave the room!

This post is just for the little ones!

Your Auntie Jocelyn knows that sometimes as a kid you'll get stuck at home all day with an inattentive parent, or an ornery relative to babysit you. On a sunny day you can always go play with your friends (I'd certainly rather my kids be out messing up someone else's yard!). But in the event that rain or other conditions keep you indoors, you can still come up with fun ideas to keep yourself occupied. Here are just a few to get you started.

I know how kids love games! To avoid arousing suspicion, start out with some quiet games, like "stick the dirty Band-aid on Mommy's butt right before she leaves for the club" (my kids love that one!). Or you could wait until Grandpa starts napping, and paint him up like a bitch, with some nice blue eye shadow and bright red lipstick. Then wake him up by turning the thermostat up as high as it will go!

There are some activities that are mandatory whenever you're left unsupervised. For example, you've got to go through every drawer in your parent's room. Also, you're required as a kid to devour everything in the house that even slightly resembles chocolate. This is also your chance to go through the kitchen cupboards and throw out stuff that you don't like. Then head to the living room, and hide the remote control where nobody will ever find it again!

Being alone is also your perfect chance to get at everybody else's stuff! Use a magic marker to draw silly mustaches on all of your older sister's music posters. Take Dad's new stereo apart to see how it works. Shave race car numbers into your older brother's suede jacket. And eat the entire stick of that old fruit-scented lip balm you found in the junk drawer.

Even if you're not home alone, you've still got the bathroom, which is a classic stage for youthful shenanigans! You could take a piss in the sink, for curiosity's sake. Flush various objects down the toilet as a scientific experiment. Cover the toilet seat in a greasy lotion. Or simply pinch up a few bunches of hair from the floor and shove them into the bristles of Daddy's toothbrush!

Now that you've covered your bases, it's time for some good old fashioned imagination games. You can go old school, and play dress up with some of those crusty old clothes from the attic. Or you can cut your own hair with safety scissors. Create a modern art masterpiece by processing a good-sized live bird in the blender, then pouring it out onto a rug. Or pretend you're a teacher, and train your dog to hate a specific ethnic group.

If you're still bored, then maybe it's time to go a little wild! Eat some leaves off one of the plants in the house. Leave stray Lego pieces all over the carpet for people to step on in their stocking feet. Huff all the freon out of the air conditioner, and run around the house banging your forehead into sharp corners. Ride down the stairs on an old mattress. Play "doctor" with a cute cousin. Or just lock yourself in the dark basement and try to escape!

Moms and dads, you can come back out now! I don't think you'll be hearing any more complaints about boredom from these little rascals! Oh, please, don't thank me. We parents have to stick together!


Anonymous said...

"Or pretend you're a teacher, and train your dog to hate a specific ethnic group."

That's not fair. I'm sitting here at work trying to quietly snicker away at your blog, and then you pull that out and make me laugh my ass off.

Anonymous said...

I thought this was going to be the dumbest thing ever after the first paragraph, but I kept reading and it was HILARIOUS!

Anonymous said...

You forgot the entire section 'Fun with Fire'. I remember the times when I was a kid and we tried 'cooking'. That's how I learned that a carpet can melt (long story). Not to mention that one can learn to raise their alcohol tolerance by exploring the liquor cabinet. And the gymnastic practice off the furniture. Ah, the list could go on.

Anonymous said...

How about the all time favorite taken to the next level? Instead of drawing on the walls with crayons, why not use red spray paint? Or use the same spray paint and paint the cat a new color!

Anonymous said...

You can spill rubber cement all over the new rug and cover it with a newspaper so mom doesn't see it...

Anonymous said...

you freaking crack me up. Mom of the year!