I was drinking down at Stool Pidgeons last night and hooked up with a dude named Rodney. We was hongry, so we headed next door to Buffalo Wild Wings and picked up a massive pack of wings to go. Then I drove us to a hotel over by the Richfood Dairy. Muffin, my rottie, was with us too, because I like to have him when I go downtown so he can protect the car.
We opened the door to our room and were immediately hit in the face with the smell of stale urine and thrice fried beans. I lit up a Black & Mild to mask the odor. There were two queen-sized beds, so we hopped into one of them and ate our wings. Since we still had a clean bed to go to, we just threw the saucy bones under the covers as we ate, and used the top of the bed sheet as a napkin.
Muffin was growling and digging at something under the other bed, which turned out to be a wad of nasty discarded hair extensions. I grabbed it from his mouth, opened the door of the room, and threw it off into the parking lot. That's when I noticed that the chain lock was broken on the door. I wasn't happy about having to rely on just the one cheap little doorknob lock in this sketchy-ass hotel!
Rodney is an electrician, and he handily rewired the wall near the TV so we could watch some porno and have it charged to the neighboring room. I love a man whose good with his hands! He also made sure that the clean bed was set up properly for us. The pillows looked like they had been shoved together and humped by a horse, so he swapped them out for the ones on the chicken wing bed.
We started kissing, and moved onto the bed for some messy, rough sex! It's nice to be able to really go crazy because it's not your bed! Rodney's toolbox also contained a few goodies. We broke out a jar of marmalade and everything! When we were done I wiped my rear end with the comforter and chucked it under a chair.
Sleep was hard to come by because there were people talking outside our door all night long. It sounded like someone leaned on our door at one point, and later someone even had the balls to try our doorknob! Luckily the lock held, and Muffin barked like a maniac to scare them away. We were able to safely huddle together in the stench and misery of that room until dawn.
We decided to get out of there early. We both have jobs to get to anyway. Rather than turn the key back in I decided to sublet the room to some meth addicts who we found creeping around the parking lot. Now I'm itching like crazy, and my back hurts. I'm pretty sure that crappy mattress was one giant scabies nest.