Thursday, June 19

Ellwood Thompson's customers look unhealthy!

Sometimes I like to get my movies at the Blockbusters in Carytown, even though they almost never have what I came for. Everyone gets pissed while I hold up the line, having the clerk look through all the recently returned movies for the ones I want.

While I'm there I sometimes go to Ellwood Thompson's to pick up a beer or some dessert from the deli area. That place is a racket! People in front of me in line are running up 60 to 80 dollar receipts for a half bag of groceries (and "supplements"). A can of tuna for $3? I guess it's more dolphin safe, or whatever, and probably more healthy than the fishsticks I eat for lunch.

What I don't get is, how come most of the people who I see shopping in there look malnourished? I'm talking sunken eyes, stringy hair, pale or blotchy skin, and all that. I swear, it's like the number one grocery store for spooky old ghost ladies. I'm downright terrified to shop for groceries there. And not just because they don't offer a loaf of bread for under $4.99.

Meanwhile, my kids are the picture of health, and I do most of my shopping for them at the Wonderbread outlet and the dollar store. It's mostly prepackaged junk, and canned foods with made-up brand names you've never heard of. But I'll be damned if my kids and I don't have nice skin, healthy gums, and shiny, lustrous coats of hair on our heads!

So anyway, last night me and the kids watched Norbit. In case you don't already know, it's terrible. The mini Chips Ahoy that we ate were good, though. And we shared a can of Island Delight pineapple chunks.

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

So true, with an element of humor. Rock on.

Anonymous said...

your exposure to ellwood thompson's must be pretty limited. i shop there all the time and while some of their stuff is really expensive but i feel like if you want the best stuff from local sources you have to expect the expense. I use their sales flyer and coupon books they offer and I'm able to feed my family without breaking the bank. sure there are some unhealthy looking people shopping there, but that's just part of the population...you find unhealthy looking people everywhere - on the street, at the mall, at school and even at the wonder bread outlet. you're not going to be the picture of health just by shopping at a certain store, just like you're not going to be beautiful just by going to a certain salon or buying a certain make-up.

Anonymous said...

Ellwood Thompson's must be paying people just to respond to blog posts about them. I guess that's why their prices are so high.

Meade Skelton said...

I agree. None of the employees seem to shower or wash their hair.

Anonymous said...

I wish I was paid by Ellwoods to respond to silly posts like this - I could apply it to my food bill there. I'm just saying it's pretty ridiculous to equate the look of some older ladies which you call "unhealthy" with the fact that they shop/eat there. So if you saw them at Food Lion you wouldn't be surprised by the way they look I guess. I'm more offended by your "spooky old ghost ladies" comment - god help you when you get old. Vanity is a beast.

It's a free, capitalistic country - that's why Elwood Thompson exists for some and the Discount Wonderbread store exists for other.

Did you know you can use Wonderbread cut in log strips for fruit cobbler? It's really good and saves a lot of time. Just place atop fruit mixture, brush with melted butter and sprinkle with cinammon/sugar.

Anonymous said...

Elwoods gonna go under when Whole Foods opens.. ah gahron-tee.