Thursday, June 19

How Jocelyn got her groove back!

When my ex-husband Kevin left us he said it was because I was too jealous and I was always yelling at him. The only time I "yelled" at him was when he'd pick me up the wrong kind of maxi pads or hairspray from the store. Just those important things that he would remember about me, if he cared.

But the real reason he left is because I knew that bastard was cheating! I'd always catch him coming home from work 10 minutes later than necessary, and he'd be on the phone with his "friends" on his way home when I was calling to find out what was taking so long. He would always be talking to me about the bitches at work, or on the TV, and I'd be like, "are you sleeping with her?". He'd always get so indignant that I just knew he was lying!

I got a lawyer to take care of him. He even has to send the child support check through the lawyer, rather mailing it, or coming by to deliver it. He barely ever gets to see the kids, and the only time he sees me is when I'm driving by his crappy efficiency apartment (in his Mercury). Take that, asshole!

So anyway, I've been back on the market, and things have been going really good. Since the townhouse is paid for I can use most of the support checks on new clothes, hair and nails. So I've been looking good at the clubs, and I think I already found myself a new man!

His name is Re'quan! He's a nude dancer, and he is as fine as he can be! And he's crazy about me! He keeps his hair so nice for me, and he wears the most elegant clothes and shoes. Sometimes I have to wait until 3 in the morning for him to get home from the club, because he and the other dancers take so long showering and grooming themselves after the show.

I work during the day, and that man waits on my couch all day for me to get home! The only time he's out of my sight is when he hangs out with his male friends. In fact, he shows almost no interest in other women! I feel so secure with this man, I trust him with everything. I even take the van to work sometimes so he can use the Mercury during the day to run his errands!

Of course sometimes I think I'm getting ahead of myself. So I make sure he's out of the house before my mom drops the kids off. I'll introduce them to him when I think our relationship is truly ready. In the meantime, I'm gonna keep it on the downlow.

17 comments:

Anonymous said...

You can't be for real. Using child support checks for hail & nails? Jesus.

chris said...

you look like that guy from men in black whose body was taken over by bugs and the skin used to hang off and get all crusty and the like ... use the money to suck that fat off the bone u fuckin skeezer

Anonymous said...

They just be haters J - keep going girl.

xo,

Mitchy

Anonymous said...

You are the type of woman that so many men in Thailand have left behind. What a nasty, bitchy, jealous, leach you are. I hope your new boyfriend takes you for a ride. I also hope you didn't have any kids with your first husband. What a terrible mother you would be!

Anonymous said...

Jocelyn,

I pine for you, me dear, and I warn you about the dancer: he's just in it for your money (plus he's gay, all that) but I swear I would never do that. I get a lot of money every month for disability - I broke my finger badly, causing a major calcification issue and now I can't program, so I get paid to surf porn all day...and read your delicate, beautiful prose!

Seems to me we could be magic together. If you could leave the kids at the neighbors for a two, three days, we could hook up down in Myrtle Beach, maybe? You know, something slow and simple, just to get to know each other first?

Do tell.

Impatiently, I remain,
Schuyler

Anonymous said...

This sounds very much like what my ex would do.

I pay child support; She buys jewelry.

Did my son get warm clothes through the winter? Nope.

Did she get new jewelry and hair? yup.

Given this is Richmond VA, it's not very surprising, since that's the kind of thing those redneck "empowered" women like to do.

Anonymous said...

"He barely ever gets to see the kids, and the only time he sees me is when I'm driving by his crappy efficiency apartment (in his Mercury). Take that, asshole!"

Wow. You didn't say he hurt the kids in any way, just that he cheated on you. So he's a cheating weasel.

But you revel in spending YOUR KIDS' child support on hair & nails?

You brag about denying the father seeing his children?

You're just a mean-spirited, vindictive bitch.

If karma does return 3-fold on you as they say, you're going to pay one helluva price.

Anonymous said...

You should use the child support to fix your fucking tooth.

Anonymous said...

obvious cunt is obvious

Anonymous said...

Child support money on hair and nails? You are the epitome of white trash. Period. How about you use that money on.....(wait for it)...YOUR CHILDREN? Hopefully you can't have any more children, that way we men don't have to worry about you milking someone else for child support. You my friend, are a worthless fucking piece of human trash.

Walter said...

You left your cheating husband and are "newly remarried (in an open relationship)". Which you wrote in your about me space.
You use your child support payments not for your kids future but for your hair and nails.

Jocelyn you are a retarded pig and massive cunt.

Aliceann said...

Hahaha. Awesome.

Anonymous said...

Everyone here has pretty much said what I wanted to say, but I'm going to say it again because maybe that one extra person will get through to you, even though it probably won't. Please, for the good of your children, stop using your child support checks to get yourself laid. That's disgusting. Not only do I not think your husband was cheating on you (based on ten minutes late home from work? You can't have an affair in ten minutes), but I feel bad for him that you won't let him see his kids, who he did nothing wrong to, and you treat them horribly by not using child support to... support your children. I'm not going to resort to name-calling, because that will make you immediately disregard my comment, but I urge you, please start putting your kids first. They did nothing wrong.

Anonymous said...

I hope you get aids, rabies and cancer at the same time, you sick bitch. One day your kids will find out and hopefully they'll get back on track with their dad. And how you're getting carried away with your new victim, love does make you blind huh?

Diane said...

I just found your blog. Love it! The funniest part though are the comments. How can people that stupid figure out how to get on the internet?

Anonymous said...

Don't listen to the haters. Your kids are young and will have plenty of time to earn money. You use the child support money for yourself! Hey, you made those kids anyways so they should be grateful enough for that.

Anonymous said...

Wow. I had some misgivings about my own life and your blog helped me out a lot. Your a first rate loser!